Life After 60 – Mantras For Happier Living : Living With Gratitude

This month in her new column – Life After 60: 10 mantras for “Happier” Living, life and wellness coach Bina Mirchandani talks about how the feeling of gratitude increases our happiness quotient and fills our life with joy.

Mirchandani is Chief Faculty at Rtambhara Wellness Pvt ltd, which looks at Wellness in a holistic way. The company believes in self-discovery and personal transformation to drive personal effectiveness. She also serves on the board of “The School of Ancient Wisdom” in Bangalore.

Living With Gratitude

Last month we spoke about how we needed to be authentic! To be our true selves! And not stressing out in projecting an image of ourselves which is incongruent with our true selves!

This month, let’s talk about how ‘living with gratitude’ raises our ‘happiness quotient’ as well as brings us abundance in every aspect of our lives. Abundance in this context refers not only to material wealth but more importantly, to our relationships, to the love, joy and happiness that surrounds us, our health and wellbeing, everything that we need in our lives! The essence of true living!

My own life experiences have shown me the power of this mantra. So here’s, the second mantra in this series of ‘Life over 60’

Be Grateful! Reap Abundance!

What is gratitude?

Let’s define this term. Gratitude, according to the dictionary is —

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

We are all aware of the first part of this definition, which is to be thankful, but what about the latter part? Do we show appreciation and kindness where it is richly deserved? Or are we so self-engrossed in ourselves that we have no time to thank those who serve us in any way?

Let’s take the most common example here — our house help. Do we thank them or show an appreciation for what they do for us regularly? Or do we think that just because we pay them, we don’t need to thank them? After all, what they do for us enriches our lives by giving us the time and opportunity to do what gives us joy and takes the drudgery away from our lives. That calls for gratefulness!

What about our spouses and family members? If they do something for us do we show them any appreciation? Or do we just take them for granted? We need to stop, reflect and correct our attitude if we want to spread joy around us.

As we reflect on our lives gone by, we realise that we are truly not in a bad space. Life has, in some ways given us what we thought we deserve.

Let me clarify the word ‘deserved’. Think about this carefully and deeply! If you look at yourself and your situation today, you will realise that you are exactly in the place you imagined yourself to be, based on what you thought you were entitled to and taking into account your own true feelings of your capabilities and limitations! Don’t for a moment, believe that you haven’t got what you wanted or felt you deserved. Reflect on this deeply and you’ll realise the truth of this statement. You are the creator of your life. So shouldn’t you be grateful?

Psychological evidence has shown that grateful people are more attentive, determined, energetic, enthusiastic, helpful, interested, joyful, and optimistic than those who aren’t. I’m sure we’d all like to be in this category! The important mind shift that happens through being grateful is that we slowly start thinking about the positives in our life, instead of dwelling on the negatives!

My own personal experience has been that when I practise gratitude, I raise my happiness quotient immediately! I’m happy and feel an immense sense of privilege to be where I am! To be surrounded by a loving and supportive family, caring friends and doing what I love to do! Look at your own lives and dwell on the positives. They are aplenty!

Here’s a beautiful quote by Marcus Aurelius who was Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic* philosopher….

So how do we practice this virtue of Gratefulness?

Here’s a simple exercise that I do every morning, I fold my hands in prayer and thank the universe for any three happy gifts I experienced the previous day. You can do the same! Anything small or big. A smile, a hug, appreciation in any form, or maybe something bigger like your family, your living circumstances, your work, your comforts that maybe you are fortunate to have?

It’s your mind and your choices, so be grateful for whatever you think matters to you.

Alternatively, keep a gratitude journal, and write in it every single day – Messages of Gratefulness.

Thank the people around you. Those who stood by you through the highs and lows in your life. They may be family, friends, colleagues, bosses, gurus, anyone that pointed you in the right direction for your growth — physical, emotional, mental or spiritual!

It’s never too late to thank them, in any way that works for you and them. It’s a great exercise to do at a later age when you have the time to reflect and review the years gone by!

So whip out the ‘thank you’ notes or message them immediately! Better still, call them. You are doubling happiness, yours and theirs!

A short note on abundance!

Abundance is a state of mind, and it is not something you strive for. If you feel or act with abundance, the universe senses it and returns it to you multifold! It is the Karmic law of giving and receiving! So, learn to be grateful and abundance will flow automatically because you have shifted your mindset to one of ‘Having’ and not ‘Wanting’.

I’ll end with this beautiful quote from Ekhart Tolle, a famous author and philosopher. He says “Acknowledging the good that you have in your life, is the foundation of all abundance.”

All it requires is awareness and a shift in your thinking!

*An ancient Greek school of philosophy founded at Athens by Zeno of Citium. The school taught that virtue, the highest good, is based on knowledge; the wise live in harmony with the divine Reason (also identified with Fate and Providence) that governs nature and are indifferent to the vicissitudes of fortune and to pleasure and pain.